Kids, Can't live with 'em. Pass the beer nuts!

This is a bloom off of a pitcher plant that we have had for a couple of years. And I can't get an african violet to bloom?

The title of today's post is a paraphrase of Norm's famous line from Cheers--"Women! Can't live with 'em. Pass the beer nuts." What a great show. Why don't they write them like that anymore? Oh wait, nobody's writing ANYTHING for television right now so it's all CRAP!

For everyone that doesn't know me (and that would be pretty much EVERYONE) I have two darling daughters; that is, they are darling when they are fast asleep! Dramaqueen is the older of my children and she is eleven--going on either twenty-two or two, depending on which way the wind blows in the next five minutes. Bless her heart (and I am from the South, so imagine that being said with the greatest of southern drawls) she can be the sweetest, most loving child in the world when she is in a good mood, but, like the weather in Scotland, wait five minutes and it'll be totally different. One never knows what may set her off (is my hair right? did I find the right shirt to wear? don't mess with my hair! I can't find my shoes! My hair is fine! My sister is making too much noise while eating her ice cream!) Well, you get the picture.

The aggravating thing about the child is that she is very bright, but you would NEVER know it because she NEVER, EVER learns from her mistakes.

Munchkin is nine years old and is her sister's polar opposite. She is relatively calm (unless pushed to being a screaming banshee by her sister) and it would suit her just fine to be left alone to play her Nintendo DS or listen to her Ipod. In fact, when her sister is not around, you would never even know that she was around.

Believe me, I am not one of those mothers that feel that their darling progeny is perfect. In fact, I strongly adhere to the Rosanne Barr philosphy of "This is why some animals eat their young!" or Bill Cosby's dictum "I brought you into this world and I can take you out!" Do not, however, translate my philosophy to mean that I do not love my children. I would gladly step between them and harm any day, (but I would probably have to do that because they won't listen to me!)

They have not a clue what the expression "please be quiet" or "shh" means even when said repeatedly and at greater volumes every time it is repeated. AND THEN, they have the audacity to look hurt and stunned when my husband or myself finally has to resort to that most horrible of phrases--(and this will most likely get me an explicit rating) SHUT UP! I know, I know, go ahead and call the Department of Social Services as we have scarred our children's delicate psyches for life.

Just today, they were both hounding me for cell phones of their own. (SOAP BOX ALERT) Now, I realize that in some instances, it can be a prudent thing for children to have access to a cell phone, but mine go to school, then go to an afterschool program at the local YMCA. Once a week they have bell choir practice--and that is pretty much it! Please tell me why a child needs a cell phone? Aren't there generally enough people around with a phone that they could use if absolutely necessary? (end of soap box alert)

As far as the crafting bug goes, I was going to be so good for a while and I was not going to buy anything else for a time. (Note: this was not an actual New Year's resolution--I don't do that) I was just not going to get anything except the clubs that I am already in (and those don't count, really) THEN I received an email from Christine of The Dyepot announcing that she had some 1lb packs of mixed fibers that she was selling. DRATS!! Foiled again! So a couple of pounds just jumped into my cart. I really don't know how that happened, Honest!! So now, I guess I really need to get my Ashford Kiwi moving so that I can spin up some of the Other fiber I have. Oh yeah, and along with the fiber, I also purchased some more knitting books (I have more than the local library as it stands--of course, in the Emerald City, that ain't saying much.) Oh well, bless me Father, for I have sinned. I guess I need to say five Elizabeth Zimmerman's and 2 Barbara Walker's.